


the noises that keep you awake at night

by heavenlyasylum



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:35:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23686267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenlyasylum/pseuds/heavenlyasylum
Summary: byulyi was always perceptive of everything.
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39





	the noises that keep you awake at night

the noises that keep you awake at night

Byulyi is very perceptive. She notices the tiniest details in everything - even the most trivial ones that no one really pays attention to. Despite the many praises from people, Byulyi thinks it's a curse. Well, that was before she met the love of her life, Kim Yongsun. It was only then that Byulyi started considering it a gift.

Byulyi can still remember the first time she met Yongsun. It was a cold November night when she finally agreed to going on a blind date that Wheein set up for her. Byulyi was already making up a shitty excuse in her mind to get out of the date as quickly as possible, but when Yongsun showed up in front of her with that big, bright smile, Byulyi's mind went blank and the excuses she thought of all went down the drain.

She didn't really think the date would work out well, but the more Byulyi talked to Yongsun, the more interested she became. Byulyi learned that she shared a lot of hobbies with Yongsun. It was also that time when Byulyi noticed that Yongsun would always tuck strands of her hair behind her ear whenever she gets shy because of Byulyi's flirty remark. She thought it was cute and Byulyi couldn't get enough of Yongsun. That was enough reason for her to ask for another date, and another, and another.

It was easy for both of them to fall for each other. Byulyi can still vividly remember the day Yongsun asked her to be her girlfriend. Although Byulyi expected that their relationship would eventually move forth, she didn't really expect that it would be Yongsun who'd initiate it. Especially when Byulyi's more expressive and flirty than the other. 

_ "I want to get to know you more." Yongsun said quietly, once again tucking some strands of her hair behind her ear. Her eyes were not meeting Byulyi and it didn't go unnoticed.  _

_ "I'll tell you everything you need to know more about me then. We can go on a few more da--" _

_ "Or you can just be my girlfriend?" Yongsun quickly muttered, with her eyes closed. She was afraid to look at Byulyi. _

_ It took Byulyi a few more minutes before everything was fully registered in her head. She chuckled when she saw that Yongsun's eyes were still closed. _

_ "Open your eyes, Yong. How am I supposed to see your pretty eye-smile if your eyes are closed?" _

_ After Byulyi's greasy remark, Yongsun slowly opened her eyes, "You haven't even answered my question yet." _

_ "Isn't it obvious already?" Byulyi laughed. _

_ "With your smug tone and smile, I can already tell," Yongsun said, "But I still want to hear you say it." _

_ Byulyi couldn't help but smile. She stepped closer in front of Yongsun and leaned to her right ear, "It's a yes, Yong. Of course, I'll be your girlfriend." _

From then on, they officially became a 'thing'. Byulyi felt like the luckiest woman on Earth because she gets to date the loveliest, most amazing woman - Kim Yongsun. Their relationship progressed quickly. Soon enough, they knew things about each other that they've never even told anyone before. It felt easier to let go of things or share thoughts to each other. They were that comfortable.

\--

Byulyi also started picking up more things about Yongsun. Like how Yongsun's pitch gets higher when she's telling an interesting story to Byul. How she'd sing out of the blue to distract Byulyi from saying something that she doesn't want to hear. How Yongsun prefers staying at home watching TV series than having dates outside. They have cancelled many dates outside to stay home and cuddle, but Byulyi didn't really mind it. She never really preferred being outside anyway. Byulyi also learned that her girlfriend's obsessed with spicy rice cakes that Byulyi had to stop her from ordering it for the fifth time in a week. Yongsun's habit of changing the subject when she doesn't want to talk about a particular topic also didn't go unnoticed by Byulyi. Whenever she pointed it out, Yongsun would laugh and admit her defeat. Byulyi, however, tried not to pry on things that her girlfriend didn't want to share (yet). Yongsun appreciated her for that.

It would be impossible for Byulyi to list down all the things she noticed about Yongsun. But if she could pick one, it would definitely be Yongsun's smile. Byulyi find it absolutely adorable that whenever Yongsun's smile gets bigger, her eyes start getting smaller, forming crescent moons. She once told Yongsun about this during their date. It was also when Byulyi realized that maybe she likes Yongsun more than she thinks she does.

_ "I really love it when you smile or laugh like that. Your eyes get small. It's adorable!" Byulyi laughed, her hands reaching to pinch Yongsun's cheeks. _

_ "You always find everything about me cute though." Yongsun pouted. _

_ "Because everything about you is cute. I can't help it." _

_ "Whipped." _

_ "For you, yes." Byulyi winked. _

\--

The first time they said 'I love you' to each other, Byulyi felt like she was on cloud nine. It was surreal and everything just fell into place - something that Byulyi never experienced before (even in her past relationships). Byulyi would always remember how Yongsun looked at her before saying the four words Byulyi was dying to hear. It was perfect.

_ Byulyi was cuddling to Yongsun while the other girl was checking her phone for new memes. She doesn't remember what triggered it, but Byulyi suddenly felt her heart beating quickly, her stomach twisting, and she felt like she was running out of breath. _

_ "Yong?" Byulyi quietly muttered. _

_ Yongsun put down her phone beside her, before putting all of her attention on the woman cuddling closer to her, "Yes?" _

_ Byulyi didn't get how or why, but when Yongsun gave her a smile, those three words easily slipped out of her mouth, "I love you." _

_ There was a pause. Yongsun was just staring at her, clearly surprised because of the sudden love confession. Byulyi was starting to get anxious when seconds turned into minutes, but before her own thoughts consumed her, there was a shift on Yongsun's face.  _

_ It lasted in a few seconds, but Byulyi felt like it was minutes. Yongsun's eyes started to soften and her mouth formed a small, assuring smile. Byulyi couldn't help but stare longer at Yongsun's eyes. It seemed like she carried all the stars in them and it felt like Yongsun was staring at her as though she's her world. Byulyi was completely captivated, but before she drowned in her own pool of thoughts, Yongsun spoke. _

_ "I love you too." _

And ever since then, Yongsun would always look at Byulyi with her eyes shining brightly whenever they'd say their I love you's to each other. Byulyi took note of this.

\--

Byulyi has always been perceptive in everything. She doesn't fail to notice even the littlest details. And so when Yongsun gradually began changing, she didn't fail to notice it. She didn't really mind changes. After all, change is the only thing constant and it's inevitable. It's part of human nature. So when she started noticing the little changes Yongsun made, she brushed them off. 

It all started when Byulyi noticed the way Yongsun replied to her messages. Byulyi's conversations with Yongsun always excited her, until Yongsun started giving dry, short replies. Byulyi was confused, but she ignored it thinking that Yongsun's just busy.

Byulyi also didn't fail to notice the way Yongsun would come up of excuses to reject Byulyi's proposal to see each other during their free time. Byulyi didn't really get it because Yongsun loved asking her to come over before, even when she's quite busy. But she once again ignored it, telling herself that maybe Yongsun just wanted more time for herself.

The last straw for Byulyi was when Yongsun felt so distant whenever they're together. The comfortable warmth Byulyi felt before when Yongsun was near turned into a painful, cold breeze. She also noticed that Yongsun's smile didn't even reach her eyes anymore. Yongsun didn't even pay attention to Byulyi's stories anymore. Despite how near Yongsun was to Byulyi physically, it felt like they're miles apart. Byulyi felt helpless. She just didn't understand why. She couldn't continue brushing it off anymore so she tried confronting Yongsun about it over the phone.

_ "I don't get it. Did I do something wrong?" Byulyi muttered, "Is it too much? Am I asking for too much?" _

_ Yongsun sighed, "You didn't do anything wrong, Byul. The problem here is me," she continued, "I just can't do it anymore. I tried, I really did, but in the process of giving you the kind of love and treatment you deserve, I started hating it. It's just not me. I'm tired, Byul." _

_ "So you're exhausted of me?" _

_ "No, Byul. I'm just tired of the whole setup" The latter answered, "I have a lot of things going on and they keep piling up. I don't think I can continue doing this with you. I don't want to continue giving you less of what you deserve, Byul." _

_ "So you're giving up just like that? Am i really that easy to give up?" Byulyi's voice cracked, indicating that she's already crying. _

_ "If you were that easy to give up, I wouldn't have bothered trying to work things out." Yongsun quietly said, "I'm sorry, Byul. I just can't do this anymore. Not to you. You deserve so much." _

_ "But you're the one I love, Yong." Byulyi cried, "Can we at least work things out together? It's not too late, isn't it?" _

_ Yongsun sighed, "I hate you, Byul. I hate how easy it is for you to try and convince me into changing my decision." _

_ "Does that mean we're going to try working things out then?" Byulyi said, with hope laced in her voice. _

_ Yongsun paused for a few seconds and sighed, "I'm sorry, Byul. I don't think we can still work on it. I know that if I say yes to you, it's just going to happen again. It will become a vicious cycle for the both of us. I don't want to start hating you or even myself." _

After that late-night phone call, Byulyi didn't get to sleep at all. How can she sleep when she can almost hear the cracks her heart makes as she tries to convince herself to stop crying. How can she when the noisy thoughts in her head about the what-ifs, the could-bes, and what really went wrong are keeping her wide awake at night?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I returned to offer you angst. I'm sorry for the angst haters out there. I'm sorry for the typos and grammatical errors because I really rushed this. 
> 
> I'd love to know what you think! Please comment.


End file.
